Friday, February 11, 2011


CAREER ON THE SKIDS: "So I'm kicked to the curb, huh?
Can I at least still wear my ugly 1970s east coast Mafia jogging sweats?
No? Aw, nuts!"

By Ed Gauthier
Staff Egyptologist Apologist

CAIRO, EGYPT - - - (CNS) Well, it looks like a certain thorn in the side of the Egyptian people isn't walking like an Egyptian anymore.

Because, you see, he's gone from the jewel of the nile to exile.

And he wants his mummy!

Okay, now that those clunky cliches have been exhausted, yes - after 18 days of peaceful pro-democracy protests - Egypt's President/Dictator Hosni "The Hoser" Mubarak finally surrendered power to the military today, ending three dirty decades of his asinine authoritarian rule.

A joyful Abdul-Rahman Ayyash, born eight years after Mubarak took over, hugged fellow protesters in Tahrir Square, saying, "I'm 21 years old and this is the first time in my life I feel free."

Hopefully now they won't let Muby sneak out the back door with the estimated 40 to 70 billion dollars in gold that he stole from the country's citizens. This has happened in other recent government topplings, so don't allow that to repeat itself over there, Egypt dudes, okay?

That kinda dough can buy a whole lot of pyramid polish!